March 29, 2020
I am
living in a very strange time. The COVID-19 pandemic has presented challenges
to people all across the globe. We are all experiencing great loss. Unfortunately,
some have lost loved ones to the virus. Some have lost their jobs. I have lost
a part of my senior year, my capstone exhibition, and my graduation ceremony.
Just three
weeks ago, I was flying home for my last spring break. I was having the best
semester to date and was surrounded by the most amazing people each day. I had
no idea when I got on that plane, that life would be very different for me when
I returned. Receiving the school’s emails about online classes, canceling my
capstone exhibition, and graduation broke me. At first, it felt like all of the
hard work I had put into these past four years was time wasted. I felt overwhelmed with worries about how I was going to finish out
my last semester. I was devastated
knowing that I would never be in one place with all of my friends again. It hurt trying to move forward without being able to say my
proper goodbyes to the people and school I love so much. It still feels unreal
that it is all coming to an end this way.
I have
also lost trust. Every where you look there is different information about this
pandemic. It feels like The White House tried to convince us that everything was
fine. Things are definitely not fine right now. The number of cases in the US
has now passed the number of cases in China, the place where the virus originated. All the misinformation is causing a lot of confusion and anxiety
about the unknown. We do not know how long this will last or how bad things are
going to get. As a result, we have lost our freedom. I wish I could go outside and enjoy
being in nature without the confinements of my balcony railing. Being in nature is the best way for me to clear my mind and calm my anxiety, so some days can be a struggle. It is so
strange to look around my apartment complex and see a full parking lot, but no
people. It is odd knowing all of my neighbors are right here, but I cannot see
them, unless like me, they are spending their days out on their balconies. We are together, but isolated, unable to comfort each other... and how strange is that?
Since returning to Tampa, some days
have been better than others. Some days I just want to cry, but others I am
happy and thankful. I am thankful for my health and my family. I am thankful for those relationships that
have made this unexpected goodbye so hard. I am hopeful that things will get
better. I think at the end of this, everything will be different. People will
celebrate life, having a greater appreciation for the things they had taken for
granted before. I hope this has taught
people about doing the right thing and caring for one another. In this whole experience, it has been important to think about how our
actions could affect those around us. I hope we carry this with us in
everything we do from here on out. I also hope that we can make changes that
would benefit the environment, because we have already seen that it has
benefitted greatly from humans self-quarantining. I am looking forward to
the future and each day I say an extra prayer for all of those struggling right
now. I am holding onto faith that everything will get better soon and looking forward
to brighter days.
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